Online Cash Advances

Online cash advances are prehistoric financial trolls released in a future world. If you want to succeed with online cash advances you have to unleash your primal urges.

Online Cash Advances - Gorrila Takes All!

He runs, he beats up dinosaurs, he pounds his chest - he loves. He is Cash Kong! Hideous creature king from the land time forgot, and he is now in our land, terrorizing our streets, providing online cash advances - a new trick for his ancient financial tools!

Although a primate, even Cash Kong can generate online cash advances

For millennia, Cash Kong ruled over his ancestral homelands by fashioning rudimentary cash loans out of bananas and stones, requiring human sacrifices as a form of repayment! So its no wonder he has so easily picked up where he left off, taking his trade to the cyber-jungles and offering online cash advances to the masses. Online cash advances are so easy even a lesser primate than Kong could run the show, all you need is:

A contract with a bank or financing institution to access the necessary funds on a daily basis.
A secure online channel to collect information and spit it back out in lender speak.
An ability to strike fear into the hearts of man and demand a repayment equivalent to 500% APR.

500% APR?!?!?! Compared to today's online cash advances human sacrifices were cheap! And while it is indeed easy to provide online cash advances, there is only room for one cash hungry remnant from the paleozoic era.

When you fail with his advances

Today's human lenders have taken a page form the ruthless yet adoring soul of Cash Kong. They stop at nothing to charge as much as possible for their online cash advances, and they stop at less that nothing to collect on their loans. BUt they do have a soft spot, not for blondes but for people who don;t make enough money to handle the repayment. If you make less that $1200 in take home pay a month you will not be given online cash advances, and spared the wrath of the lender's collection!

RRRRROOOOAAAAARRRRRR!